You mentioned you’ve been on medications have you tried therapy, specifically exposure and response prevention (ERP)? It is the gold standard for OCD treatment. I’m so sorry you’re struggling so much right now. Thanks again, and have a good rest of your day! Reply Definitely give us a call if you would like, we will look forward to speaking with you. Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns about any of the above, or anything else. Having OCD can be a very hard journey, but there are options out there and there is hope! The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline can be reached at 1-80, or online at (they have an online chat function if you are in crisis). There is a lot of good information about OCD and treatment options, as well as our Resource Directory to find help in your area.Īdditionally, I urge you to call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline if you ever feel like harming yourself or taking your own life. If you would like, you can also take a look at our website. Please feel free to call our offices so we can work through your options together – we can be reached at (617) 973-5801 between 9:00am – 5:00pm EST, Monday through Friday. I am so sorry to hear of your difficulties! It sounds like it has been a very tough path for you, and hopefully we can work together to move forward. Write to me if you need someone to talk to, someone who understands. I was able to gain control over my obsessions, and I’ve realized that my bad thoughts were never my fault-OCD tortured me. I thought that even if I stopped obsessing I could never forgive myself for what I’d already thought. That didn’t feel possible eight years ago, it really didn’t. My life is worth living now, and it has been for a long time. Talk about the possibility of an antidepressant, and therapy. Depression is cruel, but it doesn’t have to win.ĭon’t go through this alone. There were several times of my life when I thought I would never feel happy again. No matter how low you may feel right now, there is hope for a better life. Being so miserable on a vacation drove home how badly I needed it. I got help as soon as I got home from New York City. Crying at work, at home, in the car, at night, in the morning, in the shower, in front of the bathroom mirror to make sure it was really me and not a stranger-this was not a life worth living. I broke down every time I thought of her-losing me would destroy her, and knowing that kept me going.Īlthough having a reason to carry on was a good thing, crying every time I thought of my mom was not. Peter would never get over losing the love of his life and never knowing why I committed suicide, and my mom would be devastated. I knew I couldn’t live life as I was living it, but I didn’t want to ruin the lives around me by taking my own life. “Thank God,” I thought, exhaling a mental sigh of relief. I finally turned around after a few minutes and saw that the girl was gone. I felt like I was fighting a magnetic force as I tried desperately to keep my mind on the task at hand, which should have been at the very least simple and at best enjoyable. This girl’s mere presence made me feel anxious and I felt compelled to turn around every few seconds to see if she was still there. I kept my back to her as Peter checked out shoes and asked me what I thought of each pair, but it was as though there was a force behind me. To my dismay Peter stopped right in front of her. She was sitting on one of the large, square benches where shoppers could try on shoes, minding her own business. It was the middle of the week, a school day, so all of the other shoppers were adults, but this one child threw me into a cold sweat. I felt a small jolt of panic when I saw a little girl with her father. Peter wanted new shoes, so we headed into a crowded Puma store to browse. Patrick’s Day weekend in 2006, Peter and I went to visit a friend in New York City, and we all went shopping. Not my favorite TV shows, or books, or dinners out. Not my wonderful boyfriend, Peter, who’s now my husband. Nothing about life was enjoyable anymore. These obsessions, the fear that I might harm a child, didn’t just consume my free time. My obsessions had completely taken over my life-not only were they daily distractions from work and friends, they were terrible. OCD, Depression, and Suicide: There Is HopeĮight years ago, I was so depressed I considered committing suicide.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |